This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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