i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
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Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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