This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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