dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize