I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
