think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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