How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
