why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize