You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
