I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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