I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
