im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
