It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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