I'm so fucking centered right now
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize