so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
