You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
