Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
