your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
