Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
