I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
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