I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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