is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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