am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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