im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
