she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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