She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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