Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
