Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
