hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
