Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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