So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
