My hand turned me down
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
