You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
