I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
