Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
