I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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