are you still at the devil's house?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
