WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
