Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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