The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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