I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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