That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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