Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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