the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
