i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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