I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize