You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize