Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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