Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize