you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize