Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
