we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
