That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
