yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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