Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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