Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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