I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
